So most of us have heard the rumors that there’s a new football coach in town, some guy from Appalachian St. However, the official announcement hasn’t been made yet, so it’s not too late to make the right decision! The Louisville Cardinals are a special team in a special city, and for that reason we believe that it’s time we start thinking outside of the box. We’ve hit rock bottom when we’ve been turned down by a barely over .500 coach, so maybe we need to hire someone who’s perfected the rock bottom.
That’s why we at Never Nervous have decided to put together a list of real game changers. These are people with unique skill sets that will no doubt turn this program around, the same way Chris Mack has with the basketball team. So, without further adieu, here is our list of professional wrestlers and professional wrestling managers that we believe should be considered as legit candidates to coach the University of Louisville’s flailing football team.
This choice is an obvious one. He’s one of the greatest strategists as a manager of all time, and he’s managed some of the best including The Undertaker. He was also given a medal from Sgt. Slaughter for being the “Greatest American.” What more could you want? Press conferences would take place on The Brother Love Show. The cherry on top would be that he doesn’t even have to change clothes, he’s been rocking the red and white for decades.
This may not make a lot of sense at first but just trust me. He launched a successful VOD company in China, so he’s a smart business man. He’s also currently the GM of Smackdown Live, so he has experience managing people with strong personalities. This is the kicker though, his dad (Vince McMahon) is relaunching the XFL in 2020. Louisville could be a direct line for talent to jump straight into the XFL. It’s a recruiters dream.
This guy was forced into retirement because of concussions. He fought for 3 years for his dream of wrestling again and finally made it back this year. Now he’s the WWE champion. He’s the epitome of an underdog and a fighter. The Cardinal football team took quite a beating this year, enough to concuss the entire cities excitement for football in general. Daniel Bryan is the inspirational character that could bring us out of the doldrums of the ACC.
KOKO B. WARE
Get rid of the parrot and put a Cardinal on his shoulder. Plus, can you imagine the entire crowd flapping their arms the way he does in his entrance? This would be a game changer.
THE RED ROOSTER TERRY TAYLOR
I guess he is red bird…? Never mind.
Maybe this guy doesn’t have the star power of some of the other names on this list, but he’s already played in the ACC with the University of Maryland. Plus he played for the Packers and the Arizona CARDINALS! Though he may not be a huge star on his own, his best friend is Rob Gronkowski, one of the greatest tight ends of all time. Just imagine Gronk on the sidelines as our Tight Ends coach.
It’s time for a female head coach in college football. Ronda has entered two different male dominated sports and became a top star in both. This year she became the first female to enter the UFC Hall of Fame. And if you’re looking for star power, it doesn’t get any bigger than her.
He’s going to tell these players, the media, and the fans like it is. He’s probably the greatest creative mind to ever be involved in wrestling and that’s exactly what we need, some creativity. Lets not forget he has 138k twitter followers (Jeff Brohm has 33k, Scott Satterfield 20k), and at least one out of 138k twitter users has to have a 5 star recruit child. Last but certainly not least, he’s a Louisville native. In my opinion, he’s the absolute best candidate for the job.
If anyone can bring this team back from the dead it’s the deadman himself. He has special powers that none of us understand, and that’s probably what this team needs right now to survive the ACC.
EDITOR’S NOTE: Who’d we miss? What do you think? Is there another wrestling manager that you feel is more deserving? Let us know in the comments! Because this is important!