If you’re looking for the biggest collection of badasses in the city, save yourself some trouble and just go check out the Louisville Championship Arm Wrestling League. The folks at the LCAW are arm wrasslin’ champs, crushing their opponents in brutal one on one matches that marry the intensity of backroom arm wrestling with the theatre of the WWE. They’re humming coming atcha this weekend with Arm-Wrestle MANIA 3: Brave New World on Saturday, May 26th from 8pm to 10pm at the Highland Community Center and they always put on a rowdy af show.
We talked to Buck Dungle, the Vince McMahon of Louisville arm wrestling about arm wrestling gods, using the power of arm wrestling to end war, and Magneto versus Darth Vader!
Never Nervous: What’s your story, Dungle? What made you the hombre that you are today?
Buck Dungle: Well, Buck Dungle was lucky to grow up in a household that loved and cherished the sport of arm wrestling. It was always on the television, and me and my younger sisters, Pearl and Ginger Dungle, were taught the value of friendly competition and sportsmanship at an early age. When it was time for me to strike out on my own, I knew that the only business for me was the arm wrestling kind.
“Buck Dungle was lucky to grow up in a household that loved and cherished the sport of arm wrestling.”
NN: I understand you moved away from Louisville. Did you flee from terror? Who do you fear the most and why?
BD: I am, have been, and always will be a bluegrass boy. My travels take me far and wide, but I am still very much located here in this great city! I think, though, there’s nothing I’m more afraid of than the idea of anyone out there in the world never knowing what it’s like to smile.
NN: It’s apparent that LCAW is the home of a lot of freaks, geeks, and mutants. Is anyone not welcome?
BD: LCAW welcomes any creature, great, and small! We ask only that our roster members treat each other, the LCAW Faithful (the loving nickname of our fanbase) and themselves with respect and kindness! But, as many of the LCAW faithful know, that is sometimes easier requested than received. Especially when it comes to roster members like Geno Grigiot, Tony Money, Jane Saw, El Chubbs, Grant Canyon, and the current LCAW World Heavyweight Champion, The Emperor Galactus. Hopefully, though, they will eventually learn the error of their ways by following the example of the rest of our team!
NN: Tell us a little about the training exercises of the wrasslers. Does anyone just have one, like, really big arm, and then a puny one? Do they eat lots of spinach? Give us some arm wrestling work out pro-tips.
BD: No two arm wrestlers are alike in their personal regimens and rituals. Some, like GRRUNT, have resorted to the natural healing practices of Louisville Community Acupuncture, and others, like The Juggalo Kween Kotton Kandy, rely on intense weight training, and a little bit of Faygo! I know she, in particular, is VERY excited for our upcoming event, Arm-Wrestle Mania 3: Brave New World.
NN: What’s Arm-Wrestle MANIA 3: Brave New World about? Why is the world new and also brave in this context?
BD: Arm-Wrestle Mania 3: Brave New World is the grand finale show of our incredible 3rd season of arm wrestling action. Based on what I’ve seen from our competitors this year, this will be the single greatest sports entertainment spectacular this city may ever see! I have heard from many that they hope this will usher in a new golden age of arm wrestling history. My fingers, as I hope yours are, as well, are very firmly crossed.
NN: Who are you hoping will win? Don’t be afraid to tell us here.
BD: Well, my friend, Buck Dungle must ALWAYS remain impartial in that, I’m just glad I’ll have a ring-side seat! The LCAW Faithful, however, have made it VERY clear that they would like to see The Emperor Galactus defeated and stripped of his championship belt in our third annual Melinda Childbirth Invitational Gauntlet match, which will be our main event, and feature over a dozen of our competitors!
“I believe that PEACE should replace war. But, if that never becomes possible, I AM a deep believer in settling differences with athletic competition, and not lethal force.”
NN: Suppose that you had Moses, Jesus, Horus, Apollo, Zeus, Thor, etc., deities and the like, all arm wrestling. Who wins and why?
BD: What an imagination you have! With a match-up like that, I do believe the true winners are anyone who would get to witness such a supernatural event!
NN: Relative to that, what historical figures do you most want to arm wrestle, past or present?
BD: Buck Dungle is not a competitor myself, I must admit! Although I have, in years past, been forced to compete when the situation, and the LCAW Faithful, demanded. But, if it meant that I would have the opportunity to kneel down at the table with her, I would most like to meet Sacagawea, and ask her about the untamed wilderness of the American frontier in its untouched infancy.
NN: Was the arm wrestling scene in Superman II between Ursa (a Kryptonian villain) and some dudes realistic in your mind?
BD: Buck Dungle has been around a hen or two in his day, and the feathers that explode from that flatbed truck outside the diner are ENTIRELY too large!
NN: Have you ever thought of inviting Billy Corgan or Trump to participate in LCAW? I know they don’t have much to do with Louisville, but they’re definitely wrestling enthusiasts.
BD: Interestingly enough, Geno Grigiot sought employment with another sports entertainment venture of Mr. Corgan’s before he reached LCAW. Sadly, I’m not sure that their parting was amicable enough for the latter to want anything to do with the former ever again. As for President Trump, I must firmly insist that he discontinue his attempts to reach out to us at LCAW, as we simply have no interest in any such association.
NN: Along those lines, do you think that arm wrestling should replace war altogether? If so, who should be the president of the country, someone who best represents American arm wrestling power?
BD: A very interesting question! I believe that PEACE should replace war. But, if that never becomes possible, I AM a deep believer in settling differences with athletic competition, and not lethal force. I think that American arm wrestling power is as diverse and awe-inspiring as the American people. I’m not sure that a simple man like myself could make such an assessment. Perhaps if everyone took turns being President!
NN: Let’s get serious for a minute: how can we get Matt Bevin involved and who do we have to arm wrestle to get teachers the kind of rad treatment they deserve?
“It pains Buck Dungle to see the kind of mess that Mr. Bevin has made of my home state.”
BD: Such a fantastic question! It pains Buck Dungle to see the kind of mess that Mr. Bevin has made of my home state. In my spare time, I travel around the bluegrass, entertaining and educating the school children of Kentucky. And the dire issues I see these communities facing are very clearly NOT Mr. Bevin’s priority, as much as he would like us to believe. But, if the good people of this state can do our best to work hard and set a good example, I am still very optimistic that those who abuse their power will see how much better it is to side with the common good of all people.
NN: In a Darth Vader versus Magneto scenario, who takes the cake, no powers allowed (because otherwise it’d be Magneto)?
BD: What a very fun idea! I would love to be able to see such a thing! I believe Magneto’s reliance on manipulation of matter around him would realistically lead to an underdeveloped physique and lesser technical prowess. At the very least, Darth Vader is an experienced tactical lightsaber duelist, and would have a keen sense of ring awareness and grappling technique.
NN: Best hype music for crushing your opponents thoughts and minds, go!
BD: Oh my goodness, Buck Dungle would never condone crushing anyone’s thoughts and minds! A good musical selection is one that excites and energizes the competitor, and the LCAW Faithful. This is a difficult question, but if I must choose, I am quite partial to “China Grove”.