FOOD FOR FUN: Coconut Beach’s Carnitas Cannot Be Defeated!

I feel like the folks that own Taco Luchador and Guacamole must have traded their soul to the devil or practiced with an ancient mystic to learn how to make food as righteous as they do, because every restaurant owned by that group is absolute fire. I’m not out to pick a favorite child, but Coconut Beach tends to get the majority of my love, given its proximity and convenience to my daily routine. Tucked quietly away near Papa John’s stadium, CB is a little bit of a cipher in that it always seems empty, but the lights stay on all the same.

That’s no shade to really any aspect of the business either, just a stray observation that personally, I take a little solace in, if only because I like the solitude and relative quiet. As I understand it, there is a nightclub element to CB that I’ve never participated in, and given my typical demeanor, probably never will. But I’m glad folks are happy all the same, and I hope it helps the business, which rules.

Are you the kind of person that gets the same thing every time you go to a restaurant? Hi, it’s ya boi, Syd. I would love to pretend that I have a sophisticated palate and all that, but anyone that knows me would call bunk on that with a well deserved swiftness. My thing is why mess up perfection? I’ve had their tacos and while they are remarkable, they’re comparable to what’s available at Taco Luchador. That’s not meant as a complaint by any measure of the word, just an observation that I’d rather pull from the harder to get side, like the slinky minx that I am.

Before I get into what gets my motor running though, let’s talk about that salsa. Salsa, like popcorn or dessert, is something that I believe you always have room for. Are you on a diet? I guess you aren’t now, jerk, because these chips are going to crush you. Here you are waiting for that delicious entree and out comes the goods, a fire roasted and hearty salsa blend that trades caliente heat for a robust and hale flavor. That’s just the free salsa or what comes out with it. I’ve had their guac, which is unsurprisingly righteous. And the spicy salsas they bring out are solid too, especially with a crisp and never really greasy chip, which can be a problem at some restaurants.


But my main event? That’d be the carnitas mojado con queso (pictured above) which is a pork burrito smothered in cheese for you no bilingual sorts. Holy shit this burrito. Every single time I get it, usually served with a 22 oz. Dos Equis Amber with a few limes, I surrender to bliss. Every bite is delightful, from the way that the rice and cheese blends with the carnitas and lettuce, to the savory side of beans.

My pro-tip on those beans: drop some rice in it, which soaks it up and gives you something a bit more substantial to dig into. The carnitas burrito is succulent and tender with the right amount of accouterments to liven up the meal, the perfect blends of tastes and flavors that will leave you filled to the brim. If you’re with someone willing to work at it with you, get them in on the action too, and split this beast of a burrito, which can easily satisfy you and your date.