Although I have to accept the cold, heartless, and idiotic truth that I will never be on the board that decides who get’s one of those silly banners on the side of a building in downtown Louisville, nothing is going to stop me from using Never Nervous as an outlet to let the world know who should be. And for me, only one person born in Louisville is worthy of having their name before “Louisville” with an apostrophe “s” signifying ownership. That man is James E. Cornette, or “Jim” as he is most often referred to.
Jim Cornette is possibly the best professional wrestling manager of all time, or at the very least he’s second only to Bobby Heenan (if you’re a real douche you could put Jimmy Hart in front of him). Without question, he’s the most passionate person to ever grace the squared circle. He may be the most passionate person alive honestly. He’s passionate about wrestling of course, but also political and social issues… and maybe the best part about “Corny” is that he isn’t afraid to tell you about it.
The unfair thing about the story of Jim Cornette is that he is criminally under-appreciated outside of the wrestling industry, especially in Louisville. How many people in Louisville have 137k twitter followers and the average person doesn’t know who they are? Do you know who he is? If not, this is your chance to get acquainted. If you do know him then this is a chance to stroll down a memory lane of some of the greatest moments in Cornette history, or maybe learn a thing or two you previously weren’t hip to — here are my top 10 favorite things about Jim Cornette in no particular order. Let’s show Corny a little Louisville Love.
1.) George The Rat – Jim had a famous pet rat that was used in the original Mankind vignettes. This rat also had huge balls. It got sick and needed surgery. The surgery cost $1,100. George the Rat ended up dying and Jim stored his body in his freezer so he could be buried in Kentucky (not Conneticut where he was living at the time). Allegedly, Jim missed 6 weeks of work mourning the loss of George, but he denies these allegations. The truth is I can’t possibly do this story justice. If you love yourself and need a good laugh, you should check out Bruce Prichard’s version of the story below.
2.) Jim Cornette haaaaaaates Donald Trump – Yeah, it’s no secret that Corny despises our current president as he sometimes refers to him as “this fucking moron” or “President Fuckknuckle”. Trump is like the new version of The Rock ‘n’ Roll Express for Cornette. Instead of being in a ring talking shit about Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson, Corny gets on his podcast and talks shit about Trump. A lot of shit. Like tons of shit.
3.) Jim Cornette’s Face – Cornette’s face is literally a meme. A meme and a shirt and a god damn national treasure. If you’re faking surprise in the comments of a dumbass thread, only Cornette’s face will suffice. You’re welcome.
The thing is, most of us would just politely explain the situation. Not Corny. He climbs through the fucking window cussing people out and doing what bad guy wrestlers (heel wrestlers if you’re in the business) call a promo. Unfortunately for Corny this moment was caught on video, but I don’t think he gives a shit. This is who he is and he doesn’t try to hide it. That’s inspiring in 2018. Some of you will probably be offended by this video, but you just can’t fuck with Jim Cornette’s double-cheeseburgers.
10.) His Twitter – I would love to write about every great tweet Corny’s had that has gone viral and pissed off hundreds, if not thousands of people. I guess I forgot to mention that Cornette’s specialty is pissing people off. For that reason it’s like Twitter was made for him. Whether he’s calling Sarah Palin a “useless twat” or saying “Fuck Kurt Cobain” on the late rock star’s birthday, his twitter is full of offensive comedic gold. Most of his sick burns are at the expense of ridiculous conservative idealism. I used to enjoy hearing him talk shit to the good guy wrestlers; he was the best at it. Now he just talks shit to every idiot on the internet and it’s wonderful. Follow him @TheJimCornette.
Thank you for being you Corny. I hope that someday you get the banner you deserve.