DISCLAIMER: This was written in early 2018. Since it’s initial posting, there have been more and more nonsensical shootings in the USA, and if nothing is done, there’s sure to be a whole helluva lot more. Having said that, each time another one of these tragic events happens, we’ve decided to repost this satirical take on gun reform to social media. Don’t like it? Sorry, not sorry.

In the wake of a tragedy, the 11th of its kind in 2018 already, everyone is going to have an opinion on what to do. Y’all know what we need more of? Guns! The good lord granted us the right to our fire sticks when Jesus brought them down to the Fighting Rebs pushing back the filthy Red Coats 4000 years ago. He saw fit to inform our forefathers that the right to bear arms was imperative to the survival of our nation, and by dammit, they hit the nail on the head.

Imagine if you will that the government decided to impose their will on you. You’ve got to have the firepower to fight them off your God given property to protect your freedoms from those that would take it from you. Will they cut off your supply line? Shoot the water and food out of the air! Shoot new bullets into existence! Will they send in tanks? Shoot those tanks. Will they, if given sufficient cause for concern, nuke your community? Shoot those nukes out of the air with the rifle you bought from Wal-Mart, and then shoot the radiation out of existence!. And hell if they send in bio-chemical weapons, shoot that shit too.

What the world needs now is more guns! Guns that shoot other guns into existence. We need guns that can shoot the bullets out of the hands of bad guys. We need guns that can identify the bad guys from the good guys. The second amendment was written to protect my right to semi-automatic weaponry, just like the forefathers envisioned. It was written for the militia that I’m in with my buds down at the NASCAR bar, and we the people have a bone to pick with Uncle Sam, unless Martha puts the Miller Lite on sale again. The NRA is there to protect these freedoms by giving money to politicians so that they agree, and by dammit, I support that kind of integrity.

Guns are just tools. It’s people that kill people, not guns. I could kill someone with a hatchet if I wanted, and hatchets and guns are basically the same thing. And cars. We got regulation on cars and people still kill people with cars, so why bother? I could run over people with cars too. Cars and guns and swords and knives and falling down stairs are all basically the same thing and have the same use and ability to effect people. Guns are really no different than hammers if you think about it. I built my shed with a gun and fixed that ornery ass mower with my gun. Then I shot the grass shorter, all with my gun.

Is there really anything a gun can’t do? I don’t think so. Guns save lives. They stop bad guys. If everyone had a gun, everyone would be safe. The problem is people, not guns. Sending out our thoughts and prayers now to all the poor souls lost in gun violence, or at least the victims of false flag narratives by liberals to try and take away your freedoms.

Guest writer Chuds MacKenzie is a Louisville, Kentucky patriot and free thinker. You can find him at the Fedora store or on 4Chan.