Deal with it chumps: I went to Con Huevos three times during my staycation. First off, it’s pretty much imperative to go during the week, because the space is incredibly cramped. I think there are maybe only 8 tables, counting two outside, and I’m not much for waiting. To be fair, I’m sure that no one is, but my time is pretty tight lately. I guess I could order carry out, but that’s not as much fun; I love soaking up the atmosphere. Whoever did the layout for the restaurant had a great eye for aesthetics, at least by my humble standards. I can’t say much for the chairs, which are a bit thin for someone with my, uhm, carriage, but everything else looks sharp. The acoustics are good too, which has become an increasingly big deal for me, given that I value the conversations that I am fortunate to have with whomever I’m lucky enough to dine with.
Oh my god, the food. Jesus the food is so good that I almost felt like it was a religious experience, which is saying something since I’m just under Christopher Hitchens in my theological interests. It’s so, so good, that it brightened my mood the first time I ate there, which was about an hour after being rear ended. Like, I thought I might have to buy a new car -and who has that kind of money- but that molé sauce came through in the end and brought joy back into my heart. I’m not sure that there is a higher testimonial that I could give.
Day One: Enchiladas Con Huevo
I hit the ground running on Monday to sit down with two of my top dudes to talk turkey and solve the world’s problems. I can’t tell you whether or not we did, because that’s some serious illuminati shit, but I can tell you all about my meal. The enchiladas con huevo was the first thing I had, and I knew I had to revisit it, because it’s just that exquisite. Like mana from heaven, that molé sauce is the real deal Holyfield, the bees knees, whatever that means, and literally any other superlative you can think of. I made mine pork, because I’m a heathen, drenched in molé, and topped with a poached egg, which is just the best. The side is guacamole, perhaps the perfect food, and a few chips, which I have to tell you is a great way to temper any heat that might come your way; it’s so cool and refreshing.
Everything blended so well, with just enough sweet to balance the savory, and plenty to sink your teeth into. The egg went a long way into transforming this into a breakfast dish, although that is ultimately secondary to my objective. Add in some Mexican coffee, and I’m living my life to the fullest, despite the fact that I stopped at one cup. I mean, refills are free, you know? Other than dropping the ball there, it was a truly exemplary experience, made better by the company I kept.
Rating: Yes, yes, y’all, and ya don’t stop.
Day Two: Drunken Burrito
I brought my wife home the Drunken Burrito that Monday, and she couldn’t stop raving about it. I wasn’t hungry, so I hadn’t had an opportunity to try it yet, which I took on Wednesday. After dropping the kids off at daycare, I headed that way alone, with laptop in hand to get a little work done. It might’ve been nice to have people there with me, but I kept busy all the same, and chatted briefly with the waitstaff, who were friendly and informative. The good and bad news, is that the food was super quick to arrive, bad only in that it limited the time I had to meet any objectives. This is truly a champagne problem.
I’ll admit that I’m more than a little bit of a baby when it comes to spice, although I’ve done a lot to challenge my palate over the years in hopes of expanding my tolerance. As such, the drunken burrito lives on the periphery of that tolerance, spicy in an almost Indian sort of way. In fact, the rice is so rich with spice that I had to ask if that was the case, which it is: it includes some kind of curry seasoning, which is a delightful and unexpected treat. And hoo-boy it’s great food. Yeah, it’s just there are the threshold before I start tearing up -I’m not that tough- but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s delicious. Because I’m a buffoon more interested in living that moment than taking notes, I didn’t write down the ingredient list, but it’s nothing especially surprising, other than the aforementioned curry rice. I got mine with pork, because again, that’s how I roll.
Rating: Some like it hot, hot, hot.
Day Three: Chipotle Poached Huevos
I’m not the biggest chorizo fan, but I’m ready to try anything on this menu. That’s saying a lot for me, as I tend to find one thing and gravitate towards that, but my success level has been 100% so far, including the Tres Leches pancakes that I sampled. So far, this was my least favorite, although that’s by no fault of the restaurant. Basically this crossed my threshold into a bit too spicy for my tastes, which as I mentioned earlier is a pretty low bar. The thing is, I still liked it. That’s the quality of their food is that even when it’s a little too much for my tastes, I’m still on board. Fortunately, I was joined by my wife, and we swapped our meals about half way through, giving me another opportunity to savor those enchiladas con huevos. Deal with it, life.
Did I mention that they have avocado mousse? I’m not even sure what that is, but it was on the side of my dish and absolutely amazing. More amazing is the Cubano Iced Coffee that we both bought, a tasty morning drink that’ll wake you up. Perhaps the most remarkable thing about Con Huevos though is the quality that you get for the price. Everything there is in the 11 to 12 dollar range, if not cheaper, making it a reasonable option given how great the food is. My only complaint is that I wish they were bigger, or that they delivered to my house, which they don’t. But that’s probably good, because I need to lose weight and watch my wallet, cheap or no, and I’m pretty sure I would eat there every day if I could.