COMMUNITY VOICE: Exploit Capitalism to Help Girls Rock Louisville!

Hey jerks! Do you like food? Do you like buying cheap things and having it mailed to yourself, because who’s got time to go to the mall? Do you like helping ladies rock? If the answer is yes to those things, well, you’re in luck. It turns out that you can set up a portion of your purchase to support Girls Rock Louisville, which is the gift that keeps on giving. Don’t believe me? I don’t care, because the future of our city is a sea of PJ Harvey’s and Shannon Wright’s and there isn’t a damned thing you can do about it. I for one welcome our new aunt overlords, as the straight up bosses that they are. Don’t believe me? Listen below to last year’s campers slaying hard.

Here’s how you do it:

  • Visit Website
  • “Sign in” or “Create an Account” using your Kroger Card Number or phone number associated with the card.
  • Click on “Enroll Now”
  • Find our organization by typing “Girls Rock Louisville” or NPO #63647
  • Select Girls Rock Louisville
  • Click Enroll (and here for further deets)

And just go Krogering! Buy tacos. Buy beers! Buy frozen pizzas and build one of those pizza machine guns like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles had, so that you can blast white nationalists when you see them trying to act tough. Not so tough now covered in Totino’s, now are you?

But wait there’s more! Act now and you can also sign up via Amazon Smile, so that the next time you need an afro wig for dogs, a sushi bazooka, or anything by Dr. Chuck Tingle, you know, as you do, you can turn those purchases into ways to help fund the future table flippers of tomorrow. Girls Rock Louisville is a force that can’t be reckoned with, and one that needs your continued support to thrive. Peep the details on that below and do the right thing (spoiler alert: that’s helping GRL).

  • link it to your regular Amazon account here
  • shop through that URL

Now you know what to do and it takes only your time to do it. So no excuses, y’all. If only all of life were this simple.