The questions have been flooding our inbox like a flooded inbox full of questions lol. wut. Anyhow, if you want to send your questions email us at firstname.lastname@example.org, tweet us @nevernervous43 or hit us up on Facialbook.
Dear Allen Poe,
Why is it so cool to “lean?” Everytime I try it people ask me what’s wrong.
Dear Falling Over,
First let me congratulate you on your new commitment to a holistic journey to healing, or as Paul Wall would say, “Lean isn’t what’s killing people.” Many are exchanging grandpa’s cough medicine for 3 6 Mafia’s baby bottles with
tragic outcomes stunning results. So the next time a slick mouthed fuck boi asks what’s wrong, tell them just because you like “to lean,” (as you say) doesn’t mean you aren’t a stand up citizen. If you were talking about like just leaning up against a wall and becoming disoriented and people asking if you were okay or tired, just disregard everything before this sentence, you might have vertigo or some shit bud.
Dear Allen Poe,
I’m conflicted about gun laws. One side of me thinks guns are cool (I hear about them in my favorite songs), the other side isn’t excited about people being murdered with them. Then again, I don’t want the government in my business. I can’t figure it out 🙁
Well fuck bud, let’s just drag the cesspool sections of Facebook right over into our warm cozy little editorial column. I’m here for it though. Yea this is a tough one. I mean shout out to our long distant hunter-gatherer ancestors who would’ve viewed these magic metal hand cannons as a godsend, a bow and arrow on crack, if you will. Conversely, no shout outs at all to people who use them to terrorize innocent people. Likely what will happen is technology will catch up to this social divide, we’ll invent and commercially manufacture pulsating electromagnetic shock cannons that emulsify anything in sight, and we’ll just be like damn B, bring back those little fucking machine pistols. I’m not smart enough to figure this one out for you, and neither is Dick Cheney. Bless the dead.
Dear Allen Poe,
Why do people talk at shows? What can be done to stop this disgusting habit?
The “I paid good money so shut the fuck up so I can enjoy the show” side of me says get hella petty about it. Like stand awkwardly close to them and start talking louder than they are so it disrupts their precious convo. But at the same turn, they paid too and if they wanna chat it up, tis Murica…so maybe just walk over to a different spot. If the entire venue is talking during the show it might mean you should pick a better show. It’s rough outchea for show goers, hang in there and give em hell, or don’t. The fine line between tearing da club up and playing it cool rests in your hands, fam. Choose wisely. I always find the words of Jack Burton to be comforting.
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