WATCH: Teen Pregnancy! Played Our First Sloppy Show a Decade Ago Today and So Can You!


For those that didn’t know, Teen Pregnancy! was a short-lived band that I played in (read: will be biased about writing about) from about 2005 until 2007. Or maybe 2006. The band featured everyone that went on to the first line up of Lee Van Cleef, but with the fantastic Andy Schanie on vocals instead of Jacob Miller. We were an ornery, if entirely unpolished bunch, as is evidenced here. Let me list the problems with this set:

  • We fuck up the first song, and start over immediately.
  • My guitar broke a string, and we had no back up, so I had to borrow one from the wonderful Dennis Sheridan, whose band Follow the Train had opened the set.
  • I didn’t know the timing to one of our songs, or at least, I needed a count-off to make it happen. That takes an awkward minute to get right. There are plenty of awkward moments in the set for that matter.
Fortunately we had Andy there to fill those awkward moments with stupid jokes and banter, which I’m saying here as a positive: he was a fantastic front man, and you can see further evidence of that here with his earlier band Bodyhammer. You can probably carbon date the jokes and find traces of the Shroud of Turin or something. I’m not sure if that’s how carbon dating works, so humor me, but if you want to hear us make jokes about the Initial Records Shittalker, Livejournal, or Boy Sets Fire -all of which were not even timely at time of this set- then you’re in for a treat.

I would be remiss not to point out what an excellent set followed this as Phvkkage, the indescribable vehicle for my friend and musical savant Jon Hill, performed. There is some pretty rotten video of it, not worth posting, but from my perspective it was one of the funniest, most enjoyable things I’ve ever seen live. He performed with a full sized computer, tower and all, and gave away “prizes” to the audience, my favorite of which being an Avail album on cdr. 

Perhaps the most delightful/mind-bending quality to this video is the fact that it is, as of this writing, exactly ten years ago. I was beardless, and we were all without child. Now everyone except for Andy (to my knowledge has a child). Andy moved to Florida, and we’ve unfortunately lost touch. The glorious Eric Young moved to Las Vegas to be a desert rat and play in the dirt and such. I miss him every day. I miss them all. Justin moved to DC and is probably a spy or something (but if the NSA or his boss read this, I promise this is just speculation). Jonah and I are the only ones still in town, and he still riles me as often as he can. I grew a beard, lost weight, gained weight, and did a bunch of stuff in ten years. It just doesn’t seem all that long ago that I was making a beautiful racket with these galoots and I miss it. 
But seriously, after ten years we still all have to ask ourselves “who among us hasn’t shit in our hard hat?” Truly a timeless question for the ages.