LISTEN: Straight A’s Release Their Pity Party!

Let me just say this up front: kind of fuck you Straight A’s, for not still being a band that is. I mean, I get it. I know why band’s break up, and it all makes sense to me. I know that it wasn’t like I was at every show with one of those giant #1 fingers in the front row, headbanging my way to freedom, but I was at a few that I really, really liked. And I still rock out to “New Lease on Life” or “Brand X” like it’s my job. That shit makes me want to flip a table and jump a bike off a ramp. Or slam dunk through a ring of fire over a river of Surge, while Van Halen himself shredded Panama through a five story high stack of Blue Voodoo Amps. Obviously, he’d have a wireless rig and be on a skateboard too, doing sweet ollies the whole time.

This new batch of songs is more of the wonderful, wonderful same. In true Noise Pollution fashion, it would have to be posthumous. Boo. But at least we have two (really three?) badass songs to close things out. So at least there’s that.